| Thoughts of a Growing Christian | |||
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Saturday, July 12, 2003 One thing that really sucks for me personally is writer's block. One of my true escapes, the ability to produce written word, simply leaves me at times. When it leaves, I feel as though I'm left with nothing. Imagine your tunnel to freedom underconstruction. Filled with detours or even simply no alternative route, you're left with no where to turn. Lately I've been thinking so much I feel as though my head is about to explode and my heart is about to burst. Yet my thoughts are a mess of mish mosh that is beginning to be incomprehensible even to me. My inability to organize them and to channel them out through my writing is starting to suffocate me. Poetry, my most loved form of the written word, is also becoming difficult. I feel as though my vocabulary is diminishing and my brain is slowly coming to a halt. I hate repetitiveness and here I am dry and bland. What do I see now alot? I see a blinking cursor every other few seconds. The cursor sits motionless and it'll be like that for awhile. Maybe I'm afraid to share what I've been thinking lately and repression is cowardly way of dealing with it and writer's block is my excuse...I dunno posted by Sewa at 2:50:00 AM # It was You who took the blame. It was You who felt the nail. It was You who died. It was You who made the sacrafice. But was it also You who allowed suffering? Wasn't it You who created disease? Why was it You who seemed so out of touch? Tell me it wasn't You. It was You who fell under the weight of the cross. It was You who felt the piercing thorns. It was You whom they stabbed in the side. It was You who gave your last breath. But was it also You who allows pain? Wasn't it You who created natural disasters? Why was it You seemed so far away? Tell me it wasn't you. It was You. It still is You. It forever will be You. You who understands. You who reasons and You who is in control. So let it be me who still ponders. Lord, you leave me confused and you leave me in the dark. But for it is in this darkness where I truly learn to seek you, help me to grow with your true light. In times like these where comprehension is something far to vast and unattainable, help me to be pacified and left in humble adoration. Amen. posted by Sewa at 2:41:00 AM # Monday, July 07, 2003 Too much time...random things crossing the mind Ya know, medical technology is getting really advanced and there are better procedures sprouting about. But something that scares me is that I think we're gonna be the generation that is going to be suffering from carpal tunnel from all this time we all spend online typing away and from brain tumors. Everyone is going cellular and they're gearing cell phones to a younger and younger generation. Have you seen those stupid GO-phone commercials with that annoying jingle? Went to birchrun yesterday. Retail therapy is one of the best types of therapy out there. ^_^ Went to Frankenmuth for the first time. It's a really nice town and so cute. Took a horse carriage ride. We had one of the biggest horses pull our carriage 2000some pounds. Wow. Did cupid do a second round of shooting arrows or a late round or something and just totally miss me this second time around? I'm just playin. But for real what the heck is going on??? To date four friends have gotten engaged two of which are to wed in the next to months. Four/seven friends have started dating/hooked up/whatever they call it nowadays...I dunno...don't think I will know anytime soon. Finished meteor garden. Sheesh that was one sappy soap opera but I fell for it. I'm such a sucker and a sell out. *sigh* I admit, I think two of them are good looking...but won't become some crazed fan. The ending lines made me wanna cry but my dad started watching the ending with me too. It is the hardest thing when a hopeless romantic like me has to fight back the tears...didn't want my dad to make fun of me. I want central air. It's going to be beautiful in our apt with central air...it's going to be awesome period. I feel like the pillsbury dough girl. posted by Sewa at 1:50:00 AM # |
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