| Thoughts of a Growing Christian | |||
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Thursday, June 10, 2004 Good Idea: Studying for exams... Bad Idea: Having a Tall Caramel Big Chill at 11 at night. They're so good...but I am still awake and it's 4:30 in the morning! Argh...and I need to wake up at 8:30....so much for another good night's rest so I can study more tomorrow... posted by Sewa at 4:26:00 AM # Tuesday, June 08, 2004 For the longest time I've been experiencing writer's block. Nowadays, I log in, wondering if I stare long enough at the "create a post" area something entertaining, interesting, or worth a few mins of your time will somehow flow from my mind, to the keys and onto this site gone bland of mine. But that's not what's bothering me. I don't know who you are. I don't know if you find this entertaining. Perhaps you read because you're bored or because you care to find out what is going on with me. What bothers me is that my passion for the written word has come to a screeching halt. Not because I conciously choose it to be. But my favorite outlet of emotion, the channeling of thoughts into something tangible that my eyes can see and read has been blurred and blocked. Words elude me and thoughts are so entangled that mush is, once again, the equivalent of my mind. I once was able to express myself so fluidly in poetry and it gave me so much comfort. To reach in and bring my inner self out and onto paper. I was able to free my mind. It was as if my mind was allowed to breathe finally after being suffocated by the weight and burdens of worries and concerns. I feel as though my ramblings lately make no sense and it upsets me to keep anything I've written nowadays because I, myself would not want to see them again when I reread what I've written. I want so much to find that part of me that was once able to complete meaningful worthy thoughts. That part of me that could write thought provoking words that challenged me to better myself from that particular moment in time. The elusiveness of this passion that once flowed through my veins saddens me. And until this "block" is lifted, I will always feel this void. posted by Sewa at 1:03:00 AM # |
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